A pigeon flew into our office window this morning. I killed myself laughing and people looked at me like I was nuts. What? It's a pigeon. They practically attack people who are walking down the street anyway. The population of pigeons in Montreal is something to be terribly frightened of,(I think I have mentioned this before) especially around my office building. They perch in the middle of the sidewalk like they own the place and then take a flying leap for my face, like I'm garbage they want to nibble on.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not garbage, nor do I look like garbage.

And I cannot stand those damn birds. I love animals, except cats, but these birds? They've GOT to go. They serve no purpose really. Except to litter our sidewalks and heads with shit. Not very pleasant. And 'they say' that having a bird shit on you is good luck. I'd rather deal with other methods of good luck, thank you. I'll stick to picking up dirty pennies off the streets.

Verdict

My insides are leaning a little to the left today. But, it seems, I have a healthy colon.

I was drugged up yesterday during my 'procedure.' Demerol and valium are my new friends. For three whole hours afterwards I had nary a nagging thought in my head. My father drove me home afterwards and I just stared out the car window like a zombie. It was so nice not to have a single pesky thought or worry plaguing my brain. It was SO nice.

My Steve Irwinesque doctor said that I was a wonderful patient and that I had a healthy colon and appendix. Way to go! So what the hell's wrong with me then? No idea. He's going to examine my x-ray and I am supposed to phone him on Thursday to hear the results, which will most likely be negative. Then it's back to ye olde drawing board. I hate that friggin' board.

He told my father that even if I say I'm okay a couple of hours after the procedure that I am not to be believed as I'll still be drunk. HA! The one time I get drunk and no booze was involved. Go figure.

just popped in

Other than the whole Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks flirtation thing going on in the movie "You've Got Mail", there is one part that really REALLY annoys me. It's in the middle, sort of towards the end when Tom Hanks is trying to write an email about "where he was" when he stood her up on their "date". He presses the backspace key to delete individual letters! As opposed to just highlight and delete. Or just keep the finger on the backspace key. It annoys me to no end to see his finger going at that button like he's abusing a clit.

feeling like such a mess

I'm terribly addicted to a few new songs. They will probably not be new to you, but they are to me: the non-radio listener.

"Colors" by Amos Lee. (And yes, it irked me not to type 'colours.')
"Cannonball" by Damien Rice (I'm becoming obsessed with all things Damien Rice lately. His "The Blower's Daughter" song is one of my all-time favourites now.)
"Fix You" by Coldplay. (so ashamed to admit I like three songs by this very annoying musical group -- "Oh yeah? You know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay!" Ooo...burn. What? Didn't see 40 yr old virgin yet??)

And a few other songs I cannot bother to type right now. I'm sure this entry has been long enough anyway so... yeah.

Addendum: I lost 7 pounds over the course of these crappy two days while preparing for my colonoscopy. I'm pretty sure I gained them back today as I am just a ravenous pig! No amount of whole wheat ritz crackers can satisfy me today!